Be@utiFuL iN Bl@cK

Belated

2012-01-26T15:26:00.003+08:00

Belated

Firstly, happy belated new year and belated Chinese new year.
The year 2012 did not started out very well for me as I had a few temper outburst due to my pms I guess.
I thought the chinese new year will be a good start instead since I saw a rainbow 2 days before the exact day of the Chinese new year.
In the end I ended up having a fever and fainted while queuing up for movie tickets on the 3rd day of CNY.
Of all places to faint, why did I faint at such a crowded place (T.T).
Thank God Mr. Creature was there to help me when I fainted.
But I got a good scolding from him for refusing to see a doctor prior to that.

I'm feeling much better now after medication and a good night rest.
But I still feel bad for not being able to catch the movie and wasting $18 for it.
And I think I scared the wits out of Mr. Creature for fainting without warning. Lol.

If the rumors about 2012 being the end of the world were real, I hope, at least, it will be a good year for me.
So I have to start living each day fruitfully.
At least I'm proud that I had been going to my nail art lessons more regularly and I really did some spring cleaning for my room on the eve of CNY.

Fainting still feels like falling asleep.

Hell again

2011-11-21T00:13:00.003+08:00

Hell again

The mental torture is like re-living the o'levels period.

Thought I would not have to experience this kind of stuffs again.

Think I probably gonna fail some of my modules.

And it is tough to get myself to start mugging real hard.

Sianz...

God help me to fall in love with studying again.

Miss You

2011-09-22T02:09:00.002+08:00

Miss You

Looking at all those old photos.

358 photos of us together.

Probably more to come.

Something about you that attracts me like you always do.

I miss those old times.

I miss you. Again.

You can't always have all the good things in life. And that is sad. If only I could have 2 good things at once.

Makeover

2011-09-16T01:29:00.002+08:00

Makeover

I wish money actually drop from the sky.

Then I will pick up enough to buy a new cupboard, TV stand and a 32inch TV for my room.

Seriously feel like doing a makeover for my room so that it will look more neat.

Recently I've been having lots of wants which of course causes lots of money.

If I were do a makeover for my room, think that will easily cost me a S$1000++.

There is also this necklace I saw at SK jewellery which cost S$229.

But it is really very cute and a limited edition.

Alright I'm actually tempted cause of it's limited edition criteria.

Besides the pendant is the cartoon character 'Eeyore'.

Seldom will you see Eeyore as a pendant and I love Eeyore.

Furthermore I still need to save up money for a cruise trip which I planned to go on my birthday.

Money is seriously never enough.

By the way, a pigeon flew and landed on my window yesterday.

The worst part was my window was opened.

The lucky thing is I have my curtains to block the pigeon from flying directly into my room.

So it was already late at night and I just got home from work.

I was sitting at my desk using my computer when I heard some noises from the window.

At first I thought it was the wind causing the sound.

But when I heard strange sounds the second time, I went to check it out.

I got the shock of my life when I saw it was a pigeon.

I tried to shoo it away to no avail.

The pigeon seems to be unafraid of human presence and contact.

Even when my brother poked it with a rolled up newspaper, it just fluffed it's wings a little and remain at the same spot.

As I had a long day at work, I felt really unlucky that I had to deal with such things after a long day.

To make things worst, the pigeon was shitting all over my floor.

My curtain was also stained by it's shit.

In the end my brother and I managed to push the pigeon further out to the extra wall space outside my window so that the window can be closed.

Maybe the pigeon was injured or something, which will explain why it did not fly off when we tried to chase it away.

The pigeon was still there when I went to bed at around 2am.

In the morning when I woke up, it was gone.

What was left was lots of pigeon's shit on the wall space outside my window.

I wonder what I did to earn so much pigeon shit to clean up after.

I wish I had the ability to make more money.

Wondering

2011-08-17T01:18:00.002+08:00

Wondering

Sometimes, or rather, many a times, I wonder what is it that I should really do to make myself feel purposeful in my life.

Some thing that will make me feel satisfied with who I am.

And that wandering aimlessly feeling that had been staying inside of me for so long will be gone for good.

I really wonder what could it be.

Seems like I had not been living the life that I want because I don't know what is it that I want.

The Unforeseen

2011-08-12T17:27:00.002+08:00

The Unforeseen

It's funny how some things that don't match seems so well together.

Like some couple that you predict will not last long are actually still doing well together.

Or some colors that seems awful together actually look pretty on manicures.

Life, so full of the unexpected.

So many housework and other stuffs to get done, but so little motivation to start doing them.

生命就是如此

2011-07-29T11:03:00.002+08:00

生命就是如此

好朋友回国了，心里有点难过。

许然知道她是为了开始人生新的阶段，我因该为她高兴，可是还是会感到一丝的不舍。

终以为这件事还要过一段日子才会发生，谁知今天就是那一天了。

现在身体觉得好像缺一块什么的，好不舒服。

人啊，真的要会珍惜现在因为明天会带来很多我们不知道的事。

Sing along with me

2011-07-13T23:54:00.003+08:00

Sing along with me

If I could sing well, I would sing all my sorrows away.

Sing and wave goodbye to all my sadness and troubles.

And sing towards happiness and blissfulness.

I would sing all the regrets I had ever had.

I would sing all the things I like and dislike.

I would sing about those happy memories.

I would sing about those sad incidents.

I would sing to people that I like.

I would sing to people that I hate.

I would sing the good.

I would sing the bad.

I would sing, with all my heart and soul.

So many things that I want to sing about...

Yours truly

2011-06-08T00:23:00.003+08:00

Yours truly

Just having some random thoughts going through my mind right now and thought it would be good to let it out here.

A while back, I was on the cab on my way home from work and thinking a lot to myself.

I guess everybody have a blissfulness that only belongs to them and no one else.

It could come in any kind of form.

Some could be through BGR, friendship, kinship or even school work.

Anything.

But yet somehow, people like to compare blissfulness mainly through wealth and love relationship.

Comparisons of blissfulness through wealth had long ago existed.

Maybe ever since money was created.

But to compare blissfulness through love relationship, that is something to think about.

If you see a couple that is loving till the last breathe of their life, you will feel envious of them.

And deep down in your heart, you hope you can find that special someone that you can live with, like that blissful couple.

If you and your spouse's relationship went well and ends well, good for you.

But what if it did not go well or end well?

Does that mean that you are not as blissful as those who have a good love relationship?

To me, if a love relationship does not end well, it definitely does not mean that the two main person involved are not blissful.

To be in a relationship, whether if it goes well or not, it is already a blissful thing.

Provided that relationship is not a forced relationship.

To like somebody but not get any returns in the end is also a blissful thing.

It is the process of all relationship that defines the blissfulness.

Surely at some point of that relationship, you feel happy.

So what if the person you like does not end up together with you?

Definitely at some point, when the both of you are in a love dilemma, you had some wonderful memories of it.

So what if you broke up with the person that you thought you could marry with?

Definitely at some point, when the both of you were in love, you had some wonderful memories.

And that, is a blissfulness that belongs only to you, or the both of you.

And that is all that matters.

Maybe some will say that it is the wonderful memories that makes the heart aches even more.

But for me, I would rather have those great memories and feel the heartache more intense, than to forgo the chance of creating those memories.

Life still goes on no matter what sadness happens around you.

Why dwell on those blissfulness that had never happened to you?

Instead, cherish the blissfulness that you have now, and embrace those blissfulness that you had before in the past.

I'm not sure if all that I had said made sense to anybody.

I'm not sure if I was saying all that to make myself feel better.

But for now, I would like to think like this.

Memories of sadness may overpower memories of happiness, but they can never take them away.

Undone

2011-06-07T02:13:00.002+08:00

Undone

I've got shit loads of stuffs to do but am either too busy or lazy to do it.

Kind of sick of working as well.

I'm like kind of dragging my feet to work almost every time.

But yet somehow I can't stop accepting job offers.

My chores are piling up but even if I have an off day, I would rather slack then get it done.

Come to think of it, even on my off day I'm running around doing other errands rather than staying home to rest.

There are always a million things for me to do.

And I consider slacking one of them. Haha.

I had indigestion yesterday and vomited out all my lunch.

My gastric hurt like hell and my throat burned cause of the gastric juice.

Worst indigestion ever.

Wanted to go for Japanese class but did not go in the end due to the discomfort.

Took a cab home and fall into coma on my bed instead.

Am feeling much better now.

Hopefully I will buck up when the sun rises and get all the stuffs that needs to be done done.

A few days back I saw somebody who had an outlook that you had in the past. I could not stop stealing glances and think about you.

Some things just aren't meant to be

2011-05-26T18:04:00.002+08:00

Some things just aren't meant to be

How much more tears to go before everything can go right?

I'm so tired of everything.

Both physically and mentally.

Lead me to the stairway to heaven so that I can be at peace.

Back

2011-05-25T02:48:00.003+08:00

Back

Just reached home from Perth yesterday morning.

Went into a coma till late afternoon with Steph the pig beside me. Lol.

Perth trip was fun.

It is always fun to go overseas trip with a group of crazy friends.

Perth is in her autumn period right now.

This is the first time in my life seeing maple leaves turning brown.

It's really pretty.

I shall update more about the trip later on.

My mom was bugging me to go Japan with her.

Not that I don't want to, or that I'm scare of the radiation all that, just that the timing is not right.

I guess I'm fully packed for this year already.

Can't really make up time for a Japan trip.

The trip probably have to wait till next year.

And hopefully the air tickets will still remain cheap.

Why can't a heart hold two people?

Just some words

2011-05-03T10:24:00.002+08:00

Just some words

So mistress flew back to Perth already.

But it is okay since I will see her again when I fly to Perth in about 2 weeks time.

Kind of excited to go Perth.

I had never went to an Ang Moh country before.

It is usually Asian countries that I travel to.

Mother's day is coming too.

Haven't thought of what to get for my mom though.

(I hope it is not. But somehow deep down I hope it is.

I don't even know why I'm feeling like this.

I think of you too.

I miss you too.)

Mistress is back

2011-04-29T13:23:00.005+08:00

Mistress is back

Had some free time last week so I whipped up some dishes.

Spaghetti with chicken fillet and lots of green and yellow pepper.

I know of at least 3 person who won't touch that green and yellow pepper. Lol.

I actually cooked 2 rounds of this cause for the first round, the spaghetti didn't have any taste.

Nevertheless I still forced my 2 brothers to finish all the servings of the first round. Haha.

Cooked the second round for Mr. Creature and it tasted so much better.

But he bloody hell didn't eat the green and yellow pepper (T.T)

Chicken fillet with tomatoes. Had this together with porridge.

Thought it was not super delicious but not that bad.

All my food were certified edible by at least 3 people.

And I was always the first on the line to try out the food before serving them out.

So no worries. Lol.

Mistress Weix came back from Perth last week for a short 'stock-up' trip.

So I went shopping with her 3 days ago.

My, my, my.

Though it was her 'stock-up' trip, a crater still formed on my wallet.

I spent like $300+ in one day's time.

Bought a few make up products and stock up on my beauty products too.

Felt kind of guilty after that actually but then I got consoled by myself in a few minutes time.

If I don't get to spent the money what for do I earn so hard for it right?

Besides, I had been working very hard the last few months just so that I could experience this ecstatic feeling.

Haha. Excuses. But I am happy :)

Mistress bought this for me !!!

Mad loves it !!!

But she also very funny cause she forgot to take out the price tag.

Haha. So I got to know the price of this.

It is kind of expensive.

Cause it is the authentic Spongebob and not some fake ones.

Love it love it love it :D

Gonna see the bitches later for some Korean bbq buffet.

Can't wait to sink my teeth in those delicious meat. :)

Retail therapy always cost a bomb.

Out of the blue

2011-04-19T23:02:00.004+08:00

Out of the blue

So I did about 50% of all the things that I had planned.

Not too bad for a start.

The other 50% that I didn't do, is because of last minute changes.

I started the day by going to the stadium for a short run.

I ran 4 rounds and walked 1 round.

Not a lot, but my legs went really wobbly after that.

So much for not training for so long.

After that I did some grocery in my stinky clothes. Haha.

It was too much of a bother to go home and change out first.

I made lunch for myself, something which I had not done for very long.

When you make your own meals, you feel less guilt after eating them cause you know what exactly went into the food.

Everything went smoothly until I had to prepare to go for my nail lessons.

I stepped out of the house without my wallet and only come to realised it when I had reached the MRT station.

So I had to walk all the way home to retrieve it.

And doing that caused me to be late.

Cause the lifts had some problem.

Think it got stuck at some level or what and I had to wait more than 5 minutes for the lift.

In the end I end up taking the cab.

What made things worse was it turned out that there was no lesson today at all.

Not sure if it was my mistake or theirs cause I was sure that I made lessons booking on the phone yesterday.

Bloody hell made me waste $18 on the cab fare for nothing.

To make my bad mood go away, I did a little retail therapy.

I went to the nearest Watsons store and exchanged all my member's points for this:

Lol. It is a mini hair straightener.

Bought it cause it comes with a 13amp plug.

Most of the straightener sold online comes with 2 pin plug which is more troublesome to use at home.

I still had to fork out $11.90 after exchanging all my member's points.

But I also don't care la cause I was in a bad mood liao. Haha.

Anyway the straightener also not very good after trying out at home.

Lol. But the damage is done.

Anyway luckily there was no class cause Sugar came down to have an early dinner with us.

So I got a free meal as compensation. Haha.

Gonna Skype with Mistress Weix later.

Till now I had never Skype with her before cause I was always lazy. Lol.

Glad she is coming back soon :)

Oh and I made dinner for Mr. Creature too :)

I made fried been hoon.

The taste is still acceptable I should say.

Gonna make spaghetti tomorrow.

First time making it and I hope it will be a success.

Cooking is fun in a way.

Live Life

2011-04-15T23:57:00.003+08:00

Live Life

Today I realised three things.

My wallet looks worn out.

My handphone is gonna spoil soon.

My laptop is more than 3 years old.

But then, if I were to buy new ones for all 3 of them, only one thing can happen to me.

Bankruptcy.

Think maybe I will get a new handphone first cause it is more important.

Nowadays, my handphone will auto restart it's system by itself.

I am worried that one day, it will try to restart itself, but end up it can never start up again.

So, I am now in the second quarter of this year.

Lately I had been doing lots of self-reflection of how I had been living my life.

And I asked myself: ' The state that I am in now, is that how I wish my life would be for the rest of my life?'

The answer was no.

And I start to remember all the things I had wanted to do in the past, all my dreams and goals.

A few days back, I took a cab home after work.

The cab driver was really friendly and chit chat a lot with me.

He asked me what are my plans for now.

I told him I am still thinking and looking around for answers.

So he told me a story.

' Last time, Uncle was in the stone(precious stone) industry, working under a boss. So I got to travel to many different countries for the exhibitions of our products. I met many rich bosses who were working in the same industry too. From all these rich bosses, I came to realise something similar about all of them. To them, collecting stones is a form of hobby. Hobbies are something that you enjoy doing. So if your hobby is made into a job, then work does not seem like work any more. Everyday you will feel happy going to work, cause in actual fact you are not going to work, you are going to do something that you enjoy. When you enjoy doing work, you will be more willing to put more effort and heart into doing it. With real effort and hard work, success is definite to come. So girl, now that you still got time to think about what you want to do with your life must think properly ok? Choose things that you like to do.'

Boy did the cab driver's words enlighten me.

Though I already heard this theory long ago, but it was till the cab driver said it that I start to take this theory seriously.

I thought about what I liked.

I thought about the future job that I would like to work.

And today, I kind of figured out how I'm going to get the job that I want.

Since I had finished most of my jobs booking, I decided to take a break.

Anyway I'm going to start school soon and I should prepare myself for it.

I need to buck up on my Jap and nail art too since I had lost the motivation to do well in them recently.

So this is a promise to myself:

I will take this break to do all the things that I said I want to do but never really get to do them.

I will start taking small steps to be more healthy, like going to sleep early and exercise regularly.

I will do all my Jap homework and revision.

I will not skip Jap lessons unnecessary.

I will sign up for ACCA and do all the research I need for it.

I will stick to my beauty regime as much as possible.

I will meet up with my friends and loved ones more often.

I will read the Bible more often.

I will learn to play the guitar again.

In life, one must always stop and look back and reflect.

Heart ache

2011-04-01T01:00:00.006+08:00

Heart ache

The main reason I cried is not because of the lost bag.

I cried cause I was disappointed.

Disappointed that you would react like that when I needed you the most.

When I felt so vulnerable, no words of comfort came out of your mouth.

It was only reprimands and that hurt me even more.

You made me realise one fact:

The person whom you love and care the most, is not the person who will side with you, understand and connect with you all the time. The person whom you want to spend your life with is not the person who will be there, by your side, when you need them the most. Perhaps it is some stranger or mutual friend that will be there when you feel the most vulnerable. Maybe they are the ones who will understand you best. Or maybe, there is no one who will ever understand you, or be there whenever you need someone to lend on.

I think, I kind of know how selfish people are created.

Maybe I should be selfish too to avoid this kind of disappointments.

2011 First Quarter

2011-03-30T22:47:00.003+08:00

2011 First Quarter

ZOOMMMMMM

There goes the 1st quarter of the year.

Time for me 2 recap on how I spend my 1st quarter.

Basically, one word can sum it all.

And that word is 'WORK'

Yeah yeah, I know I know. I've got no life. Haha.

But at least I did something a little meaningful.

I took up Japanese lessons again.

Right now I'm at the intermediate level.

But truthfully, I'm regretting a little for taking Jap again.

Think maybe I kind of lost motivation and interest in it after not touching it for so long.

Oh, and I took up a nail course too.

But till now I went for like only 3 lessons since February.

Too busy man. But I really enjoy the course cause it is fun.

Besides, I'm not bad at it. Haha.

If anybody want 2 be my experimental rat feel free to contact me.

But also depends on my mood whether I want to anot la. Lol.

This year feels a little different cause my Mistress Weix went to Australia for her studies.

Thankfully, she will at least come back Singapore once or twice a year.

That is cause her mom will miss her and want her back.

So thank God for her mom. Lol.

But have to admit that work seems more boring without her.

Now my only motivation for work is money. Haha.

So far I've been out of Singapore twice already.

One is to Bali, and the second is Thailand.

Both are for work trips so you can't say it is fun.

Nevertheless, it was still quite an experience, especially since I've never been to Bali.

Went to Pattaya for the Thailand work trip.

To the same place that I went for my graduation trip.

Bring back lots of memory man.

On the side note, both of the trips, I was bitten quite badly by mosquitoes.

What to do when South East Asia is a tropical country.

So I guess I've pretty much live quite to the fullest for my 1st quarter.

I had eaten a genuine Korean bbq buffet, got a new cupboard, saved up enough for my Perth trip in May, went to a new country/place, made my room much more tidy, got curtains for my living room, been reading more news, trying to sleep much more earlier, keeping my spendings to a minimum, and I don't know what else.

After listing my 'achievements', it actually seems like I've not been living to the fullest.

Lol. Whatever la. As long as I feel happy.

I hope I will dream that I am a super big beauty tonight.

Like those nights

2011-02-06T03:55:00.002+08:00

Like those nights

Tonight was again, like one of those nights.

One of those nights where I just sit alone in my room thinking about the past.

As I remember the bits and pieces of the past, my heart starts to ache a little.

My brain try to imagine how the present would have been if I made a different decision in the past.

Once again, my heart ached when my brain thought of a better present as compared to now.

Right now, I'm distracting myself with nail art.

Alice in Wonderland was not a great movie but this title was etched in my heart since that day.

Heart language

2011-01-12T02:01:00.003+08:00

Heart language

So here I am, feeling moody due to somebody.

Many a times, I do things that irritates but my ultimate goal was to make somebody do/see/understand something.

But I always score 0 out of 100.

I never get such low marks before with other people.

Somebody usually just end up frustrated and give up.

Is it so hard to get along with me?

Hopefully someday someone will invent a heart language which enable everyone to know how their love ones are feeling.

Hello 2011

2011-01-04T17:35:00.002+08:00

Hello 2011

This year started off with me addicted to Gmarket.

Am also addicted to shopping for clothes!!!

Lucky this is the month to spend, cause Chinese New Year is just round the corner.

Alright, I was just finding an excuse out for myself.

Anyway, I had already bought 2 sets of clothes for CNY.

But I still am very tempted to buy more. (T.T)

I feel as if I have no more clothes to wear though my cupboard is bursting with clothes.

Speaking of which, I need a new cupboard too.

I think the main problem is I have too many clothes which I don't wear anymore and yet I can't bear to give or throw them away cause I'm afraid that I will have a chance to wear them again.

Contradicting? I think so too. (T.T)

I want to plant a money tree in my bank account.

My second birthday present

2010-12-16T13:17:00.003+08:00

My second birthday present

Met up with Mistress Weix yesterday and she passed me a huge black polaroid camera.

I was actually contemplating to buy it online.

But seeing how I was unwillingly to part with my money, Mistress told me not to buy it.

She will get it as a birthday gift for me.

So happy :D

Thanks guys, all that had chip in to buy this present for me.

I love it many many :D:D:D

Since I have a orange bird, I'm gonna name this black dragon cause it is so huge..lol

Then my digital camera is called black pixie..

My favourite month of the year

2010-12-13T01:44:00.006+08:00

My favourite month of the year

Finally December is here.

I can't wait for Christmas to arrive.

Gonna plan a dinner gathering at my house.

But the funny thing is, as my house had just been renovated, it has no sofa in the living room.

Haven't got the time to go get one.

So people coming to my house that day, please don't mind.

My first time receiving flowers. The number of roses actually means something. Didn't know about it till my colleague told me. I'm a mountain turtle. Lol.

And that is my 1st birthday present this year :)

Time really flies man.

So fast and our one year anniversary is over.

It had been a good year thus far.

So many stuffs that we had been through.

The quarrels, the anger, the tears, all seem so insignificant right now.

It is only the laughter that rings out loud.

I hope the next year will be another good year :)

Looking back at this year, I didn't really accomplish much.

But I did travel a lot.

I'd been to China(Sanya) early this year for work,

chill out at Genting Highlands for a few days in March,

went two times to Thailand, one with AVT in March and one with Grace and Yunwei in September,

and finally to Hong Kong with the bitches during November :)

Rest of the time I've been busy working to earn money for these trips.

Next year, my aim is to go Korea and Taiwan.

At least must go to one of them.

Most probably it will be Taiwan since Korea is a little unsafe now.

And of course must go Thailand again for my yearly shopping spree.

Muahahaha..

I will be starting my Japanese lessons again next year.

Hopefully I'll have the determination to take up driving too.

Oh geez... Soon, I will no longer be a teenager. Sucks...

Am aimless, still aimless.

Something to be happy

2010-10-07T17:55:00.005+08:00

Something to be happy

So my house have been undergoing major renovation for more than a month.

And for more than a month it had been hard living in it,

although most of the time I've been staying at Mistress Weix's house.

For me, I felt that this renovation had been causing lots of unhappiness in my family.

Thank God all of it was going to be over.

During this period of time, I also experience the importance of the things we always take for granted.

Simple stuffs like water heater, TV, bed, washing machine, etc...

It is so difficult to live without them.

Anyway I felt so blessed when I can finally bathe with warm water.

And I really like my new flooring :)

The first day of renovation, my grilled windows were hacked, removed and replaced with grill-less windows. I'm lazy to post the picture of my new windows.

This is just a random picture of my bags collection. I know it is very messy but this is the neatest I can keep them already.

My half-demolished kitchen. Really seems like some sort of explosion had happened but as a matter of fact it is just the floor tiles being hacked.

A pile of sand left in the kitchen after the hacked floor tiles were cleared.

Another pile of sand left in the balcony.

My tile-less corridor leading to a packed living room.

New tiles and more bags of sand left outside my house.

My new wooden flooring. Mad loves :)

All our rooms' stuffs were moved to the living room so that the contractors can do our rooms' flooring.

My hammies' cage left on top a pile of toys.

I hope all of this can be over in 2 weeks time exactly.

Refugee

2010-09-03T13:03:00.002+08:00

Refugee

My house is undergoing renovation right now.

I really couldn't stand the dust and noise and strangers going in and out of my house/room.

Actually the worst part that I could not stand, is the cleaning up I have to do everyday after the contractors left.

So being a selfish bastard, I left my brothers and mother at home, and went over to Mistress Weix's house to stay for 3 days.

Even though the renovation cannot finish in 3 days time, but I least I can escape hell for 3 days.

Sometimes I feel like I'm a bad friend.

Work had literally take up most of my time.

Even on rest days, I would very much prefer to stay at home and rot.

My friends even bother to read my blog occasionally while I only read theirs once in a blue moon.

Very self-centered of me.

So they know whether I'm doing well or not while I know no shit about what's happening in their lives.

Super self-centered.

And it seems like most of the time, I only contact them when I'm in times of need.

When nothing goes wrong in my life, I usually just rot at work or at home.

Ultimate self-centered.

I really feel so sorry towards them.

I'm really sorry my dear friends.

When you guys are in times of need, please just feel free to bomb my phone, Facebook, email or any other contactable ways.

I want to at least be of a help in some ways when you guys are experiencing difficulties.

(Even though many times I just make things worst. Lol.)

I love my friends

2010-08-25T01:09:00.002+08:00

Patience

I tried to be patience.

I really tried.

I tried not to be bothered by stuffs that I used to mind a lot.

I tried not to flare up at things that you would refer to as small issues.

I know you are very patience with me too.

Hence I can still force myself to suppress all this temper inside of me.

But then again, is patience really the solution?

Or is it the lack of understanding that is causing so much tension between us?

I really don't understand you. Neither do you understand me.

Dislikable Creatures

2010-08-12T01:18:00.003+08:00

Dislikable Creatures

I think bed bugs have a brain of their own. And a good one.

The first time I was bitten, I brushed it off like nothing happened.

The second time I was bitten, I began to take precautions.

I made sure the bed sheets were changed.

They stopped biting me for a while.

Then history started repeating itself again

The third time it happened I blamed it on the humid weather.

The fourth time it happened, I began wearing long sleeves and pants to sleep.

Things started to quieten down again.

Maybe they couldn't find any of my body parts to bite since I was fully covered.

But these are blood thirsty creatures we are talking about so they won't stop for long.

The fifth time they attacked, they bit my exposed body parts like my hands and my foot area.

Don't you think they are intelligent creatures?

Thank God it wasn't my bed they were staying at.

I hate you bed bugs.

Dizzy Spells

2010-08-11T00:22:00.003+08:00

Dizzy Spells

I fainted in the middle of work yesterday.

My first time fainting.

To make it worst it was in front of quite a lot of people.

To make it even worst, I don't know most of the people at all.

Embarrassed to the max.

I'm still quite unsure of the reason for fainting.

It could be either the ventilation of the place is no good,

or I didn't eat my breakfast.

Anyway my head hit against a table hard when I fell but now then I feel the bruise on my head.

I realised that when you faint, you won't know that you are going to faint.

Instead, you feel like you are going to fall into a deep sleep.

But my body did feel a bit numb before I faint.

It was quite an uncomfortable feeling.

When I woke up, I really thought that I fell asleep.

(Cause the talk going on sounded very boring to me.)

I only realised that I fainted when I saw people crowding around me and asking if I was alright.

Nevertheless, at least I had a feel of how fainting feels like before I die.

(Trying to be positive here. lol)

Because of me fainting on the job,

now when I work, my colleagues is using it as a joke against me.

So mean of them.

Don't really want to experience fainting ever again.

The whole experience was kind of scary now that I think back.

But the people there were really nice to me (mostly office ladies and dudes).

They brought a lot of food to give me eat.

And they kept asking if I was alright.

One guy even made a hot beverage for me to drink.

So nice of them.

Lesson learnt: Always eat your breakfast.

Sympathy

2010-08-06T01:21:00.004+08:00

Sympathy

Question: How long does it take to fully understand a person?

Answer: A life time is still not enough to do so.

So meanwhile, I can only learn to be more patience, more sensitive, more considerate, more caring, more well-mannered, less selfish, less hot tempered and less self-centered.

If one can't understand from my point of view,

the only solution is for me to understand from one's point of view.

This is the only way that can help appease my anger.

Who said life was fair?

If living is such a suffering for humans, why do people still fight to live?

Crappy Day

2010-07-31T01:43:00.005+08:00

Crappy Day

I cried today.

Was 'scolded' by a customer.

You know the thing that I hate most about service line?

Unreasonable customers.

Really fed up of them

They don't care who they are scolding.

Their mindset is as long as you are working for that company, you are the fault.

Another thing that I really hate is having to take the blame.

Sometimes if the management system sucks, I can't blame the system.

But why the hell should I take the scolding when it's the management system at fault?

The feeling of getting scolded for something you did not do is so unbearable.

But what to do? Life is like that.

At times, I hate my life...

Can I just experience the ups of life and not the downs?

Horrible

2010-07-17T01:26:00.002+08:00

Horrible

All along, I was the selfish and unreasonable one.

There is no explanation to explain what is wrong with me.

I'm just me.

Paranoid. Rude. Easily agitated. Difficult to please.

What more do you expect from me?

Sorry for hurting your feelings.

Cause I'm just a selfish brat who care only about my own feelings.

I don't know how to save myself anymore.

A little bit more

2010-07-16T01:46:00.002+08:00

A little bit more

Surprise surprise.

After working for 10 days straight, I'm still alive and standing.

Another 3 more days to tahan, and I can finally rest well.

Gab rocks.

In this world, there is just some people you can't bring yourself to like.

So say goodbye

2010-07-06T23:45:00.000+08:00

So say goodbye

One of our hamsters, Pai Kia ( bad kid in hokkien ) a.k.a Bully died.

I was still happily feeding him sunflower seeds yesterday.

Aww... Life is short.

Live everyday like it is the last

Happy Family

2010-07-05T23:07:00.006+08:00

Happy Family

These are all my beloved :)

This is Big Eeyore together with White-ly Chan. They looked clean here but now both of them are grey in color. Haha. Big Eeyore was given to me by my best friend in secondary school. Sadly due to some incident, our friendship turned sour. Nevertheless, I probably won't forget her till a very long time later. White-ly Chan was actually bought to be someone's gift, but he was too cute that I could not bear to give him away.

Meet Mustard and Pinky. They came from Malaysia but I think they were made in China.

Cute little Muffin says Hi! Muffin is a voice-recordable bear. Given to me on Valentine's Day :)

This is Little Eeyore and Baby Eeyore. Little Eeyore was given to me by Xiu and Ed on my birthday. Look how small Baby Eeyore is as compared to Little Eeyore. I don't know how I got Baby Eeyore but he is damn right cute.

Mr. Patrick and XiaoPatrick here. Love hugging them to sleep every night. Especially Mr. Patrick. Did I mention that XiaoPatrick had been to Thailand before?

My cute bedroom slippers. I named them ZhuZhu. The right one is called Zhu, and the left Zhu. So together they are called ZhuZhu.

Hehe. Don't envious of my 'family' k.

I know they are all cute.

But sorry they are all attached. To me. Haha.

From tomorrow onwards I will be one busy girl.

Working everyday till 19th July.

Hopefully I can survive till then.

My Spongebobs are feeling left out..

Perseverance

2010-06-29T01:49:00.002+08:00

Perseverance

Will be having a rest day on the 5th of July.

Which means 7 more days to go.

Gambatte!

Think positive. Think positive. Think positive.

Hi June

2010-06-28T00:19:00.002+08:00

Hi June

I don't know how to describe my life nowadays.

Busy? Shitty? Aimless?

I guess it is all of the above.

Just really wish to have lots and lots of 'alone time',

for me to think about what I really want and how I really want to live my life.

I need time to re-evaluate, organize and stabilize myself.

Can't I ask to be contactless for 2 weeks?

Let me have the chance to disconnect from the world for a while.

Unexpected rest day

2010-05-25T23:20:00.003+08:00

Unexpected rest day

Was supposed to be working today but thankfully did not have to.

Bought Jay Chou's album last week and I only got the time to listen to the album today.

Mmm..I have to say I'm a little disappointed.

The songs aren't that catchy or touching anymore.

The lyrics aren't that meaningful anymore too.

There is a difference in his singing style.

Maybe he is trying out a new style?

Seems like I can't find the same spirit that he puts inside his previous albums.

Well, people do change right?

Best thing I like about this album is the free collar pins of all his previous albums.

At least the album design is kinda well done.

Trapped in the aimless human life.

Laugh Out Loud

2010-05-03T23:52:00.003+08:00

Laugh Out Loud

Yesterday's get together session was fun.

It had been so long since I laugh that much.

Really gonna miss that get together session.

That feeling of us sitting in a circle and talking about everything under the sun is so enjoyable.

I forgot when was the last time we had such a shiok catching up session.

I'm so gonna miss such times.

Time to practice some healthy living. Which means to say, sleep early bitch!

Colour my hair

2010-04-26T23:57:00.002+08:00

Colour my hair

This thing have been sitting on my desk and taking up space for more than 3weeks.

It's time I finally get rid of it.

And also get rid of my black roots.

Haha. This looks like some crazy hat rather than my hair huh.

But seriously the foam is quite stinking for the eyes and nose.

Don't get what I mean?

Then try it for yourself.

I had fun.

Wheeeeee~

I don't know the answer to the question: 'When are you going to pack your room?'

No fate

2010-04-22T23:03:00.002+08:00

No fate

Sadded to the max..!!!

Once again, I'm not watching Jay Chou's concert.

As a matter of fact, I had never watched his live concert before.

Went through lots of means to try and get the tickets.

Apparently to no avail.

Oh well...

If I'm really meant to see him, God will let me win free tickets to his concert right?

On the bright side, at least I saved $228.

Bored at work

2010-04-21T23:59:00.007+08:00

Bored at work

Doodle on the back of the program list like nobody's business today.

Conference is so not my cup of coffee.

The talks are so boring cause they are always not relevant to me.

At least today wasn't so bad.

I could roughly understand parts and pieces of it.

Usually I don't understand anything at all.

I miss my favourite rabbit so much...

A Kid

2010-04-20T00:44:00.004+08:00

A Kid

Sometimes I will think to myself:

Maybe it would have been better if I'm alone,

Then these tears won't have to come out at night.

Sometimes your words can hurt too.

Genting trip 2010

2010-04-19T23:21:00.002+08:00

Genting trip 2010

Finally in the mood to blog about this trip.

29th March~

First off I got up like freaking 5am plus in the morning.

Dragged myself to get everything ready.

Reached Golden mile at don't know what time.

Was super relieve when we can finally board the coach.

The coach have the power to knock you straight into a deep sleep cause it is very comfy.

But apparently its power did not work on me,

cause I was so distracted by all the features of available on the coach.

There was this button section where you can press different buttons to adjust the seat according to your comfortable level. And the seat has massaging options too. Cool or what?

My beautiful legs with my personal screen where I can play games or watch movies with.

After hours we finally reached our destination.

We check in to our hotel rooms first to put our luggage before moving on to 'play time'.

Since 'play time' started in the late afternoon, we decided to just stick to playing the indoor rides.

I went on board and saw this scary old man. Guess what? He was wearing a pair of converse shoes. Lol.

I met a mermaid who can play the flute. Too bad her hair covered her boobs or not it would have been a more spectacular sight. Imagine some kid seeing it and then point at it to his mother and say, ' Mommy, mommy! Look! Neh-neh-Pok! '

Have you ever saw giant seahorses who can spurt water out of their nostrils? I saw them at Genting.

Cam-whoring while waiting for one of the rides.

And the guys had lots of fun with the bumper cars.

We had dinner at this place called Hotpot culture (not sure if I remember correctly).

The food was not very nice.

To make things worst, the service was bad.

They don't allow us to change the aluminum foil for the teppanyaki when the foil was already filled with pieces of unremovable overcooked meat.

So we had to resort to stealing the aluminum foil and changing it ourselves.

Their free flow of drinks is actually chilled unsweetened and real bitter chinese tea.

They actually tried to cheat their way by stating that their drinks are ice lemon tea. (T.T)

The wooden chopsticks that were catered was of really bad quality too.

When you try to remove the chopsticks from their plastic wrappers,

60% sure you will kena splinters in your fingers.

What I could not tolerate most was having a smoker seated behind my table.

Common sense should have told you that you can't smoke at indoor theme parks.

Smoking was not even allowed at the outdoor theme park in Genting.

But apparently that slut had no common sense at all.

Even when her friend hint her by asking, ' Here can smoke meh?'

(This confirm my guess that they are Singaporeans.)

She can't be bothered. Real uneducated slut.

So in conclusion, just don't visit that place to eat if you have a choice.

Unless you want to experience what I had just mentioned.

After dinner, I went to watch 'How to train a dragon'.

Toothless is so bloody cute. =>

Oh, and I met a pair of lesbians on my way back to my hotel room. They looked so loving.

30th March~

Was woken up by smiling sunflowers early in the morning.

Too bad the sunflowers was a step too late in waking us up.

We missed the free breakfast. (T.T)

So we decided to have branch instead.

After branch we head for the outdoor rides.

Meet Mustard and Stripey. Mr.Creature got them for me before we start our 1st ride of the day.

We carried the both of them on our backs so that they won't get lost.

This was our 1st ride for the day. Spot us.

Cam-whoring again while queuing up for another ride.

See that tall thing sticking out towards the sky. That was called the Space Shot. I ride on it a total of two times. I could still feel the blood rushing to my brains during the second ride. I actually didn't get to try it on my previous trip to Genting so I was really very happy to finally have a try of it.

We also met into animals that lived during the D.C. period.

After dinner, we went to watch the 'Dazzle show'.

The show was not that good, but a little more interesting than the 'Tiffany show' I had at Thailand cause there was some magic performance in this one.

After the show, we went to the arcade and unwound ourselves before heading back to the hotel and fall into a deep coma.

31st March~

Finally managed to wake up on time to enjoy the free breakfast.

Once breakfast was over, we head back to our hotel and do some last minute packing before checking out.

The bus trip back was super long.

Seems so much longer than when we went there.

Maybe it was the rain's fault.

Though Genting was fun, but boy was I happy to finally reach back Singapore. =>

Time flies when you are having fun.

Let the past be a good memory

2010-04-09T22:59:00.008+08:00

Let the past be a good memory

The day when I realised I had lost that wrist band,

I knew it wasn't just an accident.

It must have meant something else.

And I wasn't wrong after all.

Seems that you have found someone.

Someone is interested in you.

Someone is gonna enter your life to share both your sorrows and happiness.

Someone is going to give your life a whole new beginning.

You are happy if I'm happy.

Right now, I'll be happy if you are happy.

After all that you had suffered, it is time you enjoy.

It had been so long since I last saw you real happy.

I wish you all the best, no matter what choice you decide in the end.

I know I promised that our friendship will remain close,

but guess I had not been keeping my part true.

Maybe more time would help improve things.

Best of luck, シャツワン =)

Love is patience, love is kind. My love for you is to hide in a corner and watch you grow.

100th post

2010-04-06T01:13:00.008+08:00

100th post

Wow...I had been blogging for so long and now I had finally reached my 100th post.

Hip Hip Hooray!

So I had return back to IKEA to work.

A lot of new faces over there.

But overall I'm still able to adapt back to the environment.

Right now should be working over there for just the weekends.

And recently I had been working for another AV company.

Good thing is that I'm able to work together with Weix.

Bad thing is that Mr.Creature does not like the person in-charge of that company.

Not that I really like that guy anyway, but I'm still fine with him.

One thing for sure is that I won't have to starve for this month.

Firstly, I have my IKEA job as a backup.

Secondly, I had been booked for a few jobs this month. Yays =)

But then again, one problem is I don't know when I will get my pay(T.T)

Nevertheless, at least I'm still earning in a way.

As you know, I'm a show-off.

And I'm proud of my handicrafts.

For Steph's 21st birthday, I converted a normal Daiso photo frame into something nice.

This is my working outfit before I start work. Mask is bought by my lovely friends from Thailand. Need it to block the smelly smell of the glue.

Halfway through.

Finally done. I'm so great. Haha.

See see, under my amazing hands even normal things can become pretty.

I know I'm good. Hehe.

I want to go Hong Kong.

That something extra

2010-04-05T01:05:00.001+08:00

That something extra

Once again I made history repeat itself.

What else can you expect me to do when the word 'OFFER' keeps flashing before my eyes?

My philosophy: In normal situations, buy what is necessary. During sales period, buy more even when it is not necessary.

Erm...Hi?

2010-04-02T01:02:00.006+08:00

Erm..Hi?

Lol...yes the bitch is back from Genting.

Genting was not bad. Good weather. Much better than Singapore's.

Watched 'How to train a dragon' over there. Nice movie :)

And I finally got to ride the Space Shot.

(The ride which bring you up to a very tall height and drop you down at a fast speed)

I literally felt my heart being left at the top when they drop me down.

One word, awesome.

Too bad a lot of people were queuing for the ride too so I only got to play that ride 2 times.

Upload the pictures some other time or when I feel like it.

Right now having a little headache which I'm not sure why. Jet lag? Haha.

I don't know what to think anymore.

Sick

2010-03-26T22:44:00.003+08:00

Sick

Nose dripping like nobody's business.

Sneezing like nobody's business.

Think my nose is gonna get detached from my face soon.

And the tissue paper used are gonna create a mountain.

Crappy shit.

It had been so long ago since I last fell sick.

Thank you bloody flu,

for choosing to come a few days before my Genting trip.

Argh. I hate being sick.

The problem about me is, I don't lose my appetite when I'm sick.

I just feel like eating even more.

So as you can see from my size. Haha.

Drip, drip, drip. And drip somemore.

Lor Mee at last

2010-03-21T01:22:00.003+08:00

Lor Mee at last

YES!! I FINALLY ATE LOR MEE YESTERDAY!!

I'd been craving for LorMee since don't know how many months ago.

I finally got a taste of it at the food center in Maxwell road.

Many thanks to Sugar for bringing me there.

You don't know how hard it is to find LorMee when you really feel like eating it.

Right now folding paper hearts while waiting for Mr.Creature to call.

Guess I'm gonna be kinda lonely again next week.

Nevertheless, hope that what I had planned for today will work out well.

Really pray that everything will go as planned.

Lor Mee and Zha Jiang Mian, which do I like more? Hmmm...

I'm not afraid of being alone

2010-03-19T00:20:00.004+08:00

I'm not afraid of being alone

These few days, I have been wondering around the town area myself.

Not that I really enjoyed it, but it is nothing bad either.

Wandering alone has its pros.

You can stop at one shop for as long as you want to without feeling bad.

You can buy anything without second opinions.

You can decide whatever you want to do next.

Just that you are alone.

Humans came to this world alone.

And they will leave this world alone right?

I can sense myself becoming like a child nowadays.

No idea why myself.

Deprived childhood?

I've said before that humans are greedy by nature.

If a person is given good treatments all the time,

do you think he will want bad treatment the next time round?

So if you had given me so much,

it really is hard for me to not ask for so much the next time round.

Humans will always be humans.

Kids will always act like kids.

I'm a human, and a kid.

I think I'm kind of like a troublemaker, always making trouble for others.

I had not grown up fully, have I?

Guess it's time for me to do some soul searching.

And at the same time, plan my next move.

Just so I won't always be a bother to you.

Anyway I went alone to get my JLPT lvl 4 certificate alone yesterday.

Ta-dah.

Not that I'm proud of my recent childishness, but I really miss you.

Laughter Medicine

2010-03-10T01:12:00.005+08:00

Laughter Medicine

For the past 2 days, I've been laughing quite a lot.

Yet somehow, I still feel the sadness lurking around at the back of my heart.

It is not that I'm faking to be happy when I laughed.

I do feel the happiness.

But at the same time that I was happy, I'm reminded about the sadness too.

Hopefully, I'm not trying to use laughter to suppress anything.

I wonder if today will be a better day for you.

I wonder how you feel right now.

Have your pain and sufferings eased?

Have your sadness gone away?

Have your regrets been forgotten?

I hope so but I doubt it.

Somehow, I had a selfish idea of wanting to make a memory for the both of us.

A memory that may cause you even further pain when you think about it.

But I really wish to let that memory happen.

I wanted that memory to be a precious present for you.

Though there is also a high tendency that the memory will turn into a nightmare instead.

Yeah, I'm a heartless bitch.

Let's go on a date. It shall be a first and the last, the one and only we will ever get to have.

I'm Sorry

2010-03-08T15:15:00.004+08:00

I'm Sorry

I've read the newspaper.
There were news about people who killed their lovers.
And mothers who killed their kids.
And masters who killed their pets.
I'm curious how they were able to be so ruthless to hurt someone they love.
Hurting someone you love is the most cruel and ruthless thing to do.
I always wonder how they feel after hurting their love ones.
Now I know.

Short-term miseries are better than long-term miseries.
This must have been stuck in their head while they were doing the hurt process.
After everything is over, they must have felt like shit.
I feel like shit now.

The theory 'the bigger the impact you made in a person's life, the greater the crater you leave in their hearts' just came knocking on my brain.
The crater I left must have been so big it almost destroyed your heart.
I feel like a murderer.

For today, I wish that I could be a tissue paper seller on the street.
This way, I can offer some comfort for people who are crying.

Thanks for loving me the way you always do.
But I'm sorry I had to hurt you still.
I believe that things happen for a reason.
Many which I'm not sure why.
Perhaps one day.
Perhaps on the day we breathe our last, we'd figure out why.

Feeling like shit is just the sentence for murdering you.

2010-02-27T23:36:00.003+08:00

Flying into the clouds

I was practically slacking for the whole of today.

Just feel really damn lazy.

Well at least I help my Mama hang the clothes.

And I was finally over and done with my report yesterday.

Another 4 more days and I will be flying off to Thailand.

Guess what? I have not write out my shopping list yet.

And I have not started packing my luggage.

And my room also.

Haha. Its been so many months since I said I will pack my room.

Whatever.

Now I wish I have Harry Potter's wand.

Then I can pack my room without having to lift a finger. Lol.

My greatest accomplishment for today was watching 'Prison Break' episodes till 4am.

Am I great or what? Lol.

Tomorrow.

I will do my housework tomorrow.

Just let me slack today. Haha.

I want Michael Scofield's brain.

Save Me

2010-02-25T23:59:00.001+08:00

Save Me

Fuck report.

It totally sucks.

GrrrrrrrrrrHHHHH....

Guess it is gonna be another sleepless night.

Fate

2010-02-25T04:54:00.002+08:00

Fate

有缘无份

I guess this thing is created by God so that He can play with humans?

I seriously hate regrets.

It makes one feel really sucky.

When we come to know that we are gonna regret, then would we wish for time to turn back.

But if time really turned back to the same point and at that point we are still clueless about the future, would we still make the same decision?

And my stupid heart just cant stop wavering, can it?

Humans will always be greedy.

And I am a human.

Things happen for a reason.

This time I'm not sure why.

There is nothing that can be done.

But I'm gonna try my best to make things change for the better.

But, I'm not sure how I'm going to do it yet.

There is a will, there will be a way.

Can that way appear in my head soon?

If only we were that honest then...

Goodbye my love

2010-02-02T08:53:00.002+08:00

Goodbye My Love

I'm leaving for China in a few hours time.

All my loved ones please do take care while I'm away.

Especially Mr.creature.

Don't tired out yourself.

I'm suppose to be feeling excited and privileged.

But those feelings aren't happening to me.

As a matter of fact I feel gloomy.

Maybe it could be due to the lack of sleep.

All right then. Till then.

I'll will be looking forward to my ORD ceremony in another 4 days time. :)

Thanks for your thoughtfulness. The medications will keep me safe.

Oopsy Daisy

2010-01-22T21:37:00.003+08:00

Oopsy Daisy

Day 43 and thankfully still counting.

Funny how a person can be able to bring your heart for a roller coaster ride.

Seriously, I know that action speaks louder than words.

Thanks for really knocking some sense into me.

I should seriously work on myself.

Another 15 more days for hell to be over.

Thailand, I'm coming for you.

Oopsy daisy I hurt you again. I'm a walking disaster.

1st Month

2010-01-12T02:04:00.006+08:00

1st Month

Happy 1st month.

Or rather the 32nd day.

Funny how the quarrel seems so nonsensical now.

I learnt yesterday that love is patience, love is kind blah blah blah.

Didn't really bother remembering about the rest of the verse.

Anyway main point is that love should always be a good thing.

If there is anything bad that is produced out of it is no longer called love.

Woah. Inspirational.

Alright I'm starting to sound like I'm blabbering nonsense.

There is a high tendency that I might get diabetes one day.

Temperamental

2010-01-09T07:37:00.003+08:00

Temperamental

People who don't like seeing the F word you can fucking hell get lost now cause right now I'm in a really fucked up mood and I'm gonna use countless of fuck in this post.

If I could disappear from the surface of this fucking world right now that would be so nice.

No one I know will be able to find me or contact me.

I could have a little peace of my own.

I know I'm not God.

I know I'm not perfect either.

So, I can't expect myself to be that good to change people's character to my liking.

Nor can I always have things done my way.

Fuck attachment.

Fuck those other selfish bastards.

Fuck the system.

Fuck those who always ruin my day.

Fuck the stupid school.

Fuck housework.

Fuck hypocrites.

Fuck the second-hand smoke.

I know I'm a selfish idiot.

An ungrateful bitch.

A very bad tempered person.

An evil-hearted moron.

A very vulgar person.

A very rude person.

But, for once, I don't wish to do anything about it.

I had never been a good person and I don't wish to fucking care anymore.

I know because of those fucking hypocrites I'm hurting my loved ones.

I just cant control myself anymore.

I just want to be left alone, drowned in my own sorrows without a heck of the world.

Yes, my wish to suddenly disappear from the surface of the earth is here again.

If I'm gone, I won't have to see people that I dislike anymore.

Best of all I won't have to see things I hate anymore.

Yes it is selfish cause it might be hurtful for my loved ones.

But hey, I'm not such a good person so they will get over it soon.

If only I can live without fucking caring about the world, life would probably be very good.

I would probably be very happy.

Funny how all these things that I hate are reforming my evil side.

They could be the cause of me losing myself.

Or maybe, they are just trying to remove the facade I've been having all along.

Sorry if I've failed you.

I had failed myself too.

But I don't wish to fucking care anymore.

Maybe, maybe time will help me out and change me back.

2010

2010-01-04T01:22:00.002+08:00

2010

I've been on a hiatus for too long I guess.

Many stuffs happened and to tell the truth I'm feeling quite lazy to talk about all the details.

First off, the most important thing is that right now I'm happy.

Really happy.

Cause I'm attached to a wonderful Creature.

Never ever had I thought I would find such a nice creature, but hola, God is kind to me.

And I'm glad no one got hurt in the process of me choosing my beloved creature.

I celebrated my 19th birthday by working.

But my colleagues gave me a really wonderful surprise.

Kinda embarrassing but really nice of them to celebrate for me.

It was one of a birthday experience I guess I'm lucky to have experienced.

For awhile I just feel that seriously, everybody have a good side somehow.

On the 20th Dec 2009, I took my first bungy ride.

The ride is Oh My Goodness. Shiok. Really Shiok.

When the ball is released into the sky, you would have thought that you left your heart on the ground.

When the ball is bouncing in the air, your body just feel lost.

You don't know where to place your hands and to show what kind of facial expressions.

When the ball is suspended in the mid air, the view is just breathe-taking.

Though the ride is kind of expensive, but I think it is really worth it.

I went to my first night safari trip on the last day of 2009.

Another memorable trip it was cause of the presence of Mr. Creature.

And do take the tram ride to make the trip worth while.

Mmm...right now I just feel that I'm really a very lucky person.

God really loves me and blessed me a lot.

He gave me a present that I had always dreamed of.

With that, I'm really thankful for each day and for each and every memory.

I really do cherish them a lot.

Fairytales do exist, just a matter of whether you are lucky enough to experience one or not.

Vanishing Act

2009-11-30T02:32:00.002+08:00

Vanishing Act

I wish I could just disappear from the surface of the world right now.

Leaving behind all my worries, doubts, sadness, fears and insecurities.

Fly away with just my happiness and pleasant memories.

Wouldn't that be nice?

All these heart wavering stuffs makes me so tired.

I'm an animal

2009-11-17T19:33:00.002+08:00

I'm an animal

It had been hectic for the pass week.

Seems as if I sleep less than 5 hours each day.

The worse was not sleeping at all for 2 whole days except for catching naps here and there.

Now I understand why lots of people in this line looks older than their actual age.

This life is no life.

It's an animal's life.

Anyway, glad that I finally had my rest day.

But this day was not all that restful.

At the back of my head, the words report, homework and housework keeps appearing.

What a nuisance.

But still, I have not done any of those 3.

I'm such a lazy ass.

Yesterday, I finally got to see Weix.

Funny that we had not seen each other for almost a week though we work for the same company.

We had dinner.

And of course our irreplaceable bitching session.

I talked so much till I choked on my saliva and laughed so hard till I felt like shitting.

I LOVE MY MISTRESS WEIX SO MUCH.

Someone almost hurt himself today.

Oh man, that place is so frigging dangerous.

Who knows one day I might receive a call from the hospital.

Crap.

Touch wood.

Touch a lot of wood.

Touch many many wood.

Bitching is the new common language.

Sub-rock music put me out of control

2009-11-08T23:50:00.004+08:00

Sub-rock music put me out of control

I could hear every beat of the drums loud and clear.

And when I got home, before I said amen, asking God if He could play it again...

WOW

2009-11-05T04:50:00.004+08:00

WOW

Whoots...

Reached home like half an hour ago.

Wow.

And I've to wake up at 10am later.

Wow.

And I have Japanese lessons later on in the evening.

Super wow.

God bless my soul.

When you don't know who is saying the right thing, then have your own set of views.

Work work work

2009-11-02T22:13:00.002+08:00

Work work work

Went Esplanade for set up today.

Saw Joel, Haikal and Fahmi.

Happy:)

But never got to Hafiz.

Think he was drunk and could not report to work?

Lol.

But sadly I had to leave early for school.

Oh well.

Japanese exams is coming like in another month time?

Oh my goodness. Die.

I wonder why sometimes, I can understand instructions given to other people.

But I can't understand well the instructions given to me.

Is there something wrong with me?

Everyone is working hard just so that they can enjoy the little rewards in life.

It's a Sunday

2009-11-01T22:45:00.002+08:00

It's a Sunday

I keep thinking that today was a Monday.

Cause I wasn't working for the past 2 days thus they felt like the weekends.

But when I went back office today, the whole carpark was almost deserted.

And I went like: Wasn't today supposed to be Monday? Where are the people?

Lol.

But today was kind of fun.

As if we went around Singapore.

Drove pass Unusual and Show Co.

And I slipped and fall while climbing into the lorry.

Damn embarrassing. Lol.

Someone I did not really like actually guessed about what I wanted to be in the future.

I got a shocked that he actually guessed it right.

I had never told anyone about it but he actually guessed correctly.

I'm amazed.

To think that a person I disliked actually knows what I want.

Woah.

One must go through the downs before being able to cherish the ups.

It's hard to say

2009-10-30T14:09:00.003+08:00

It's hard to say

i you me he she him her them they

hope love faith joy fear

u mi ni ikitai desu

are is were was has had have

alright ok no problem no worries

i diot morons bastards bitches

miss mr mrs madam sir

you yours mine theirs

alot little much less

It's wrong of me to enter your life and make things worst

Shit happens

2009-10-24T01:26:00.003+08:00

Shit happens

Got drove home in a car traveling at a speed of 150kmh.

Thank God I did not throw up.

Then ran up don't know how many flights of staircases in total darkness to reach the 14th floor.

The whole building chose a damn good time to blackout and the lift could not work.

And a stupid cat came out of no where and scared the shit out of me while I was climbing.

Called my brother to come down and accompany me up.

But that lazy bum was obviously lazy to.

I knew it all along but I still called cause who knows when a miracle will happen.

Apparently it does not exist this time round.

Now I seriously feel like throwing up.

I read it so many times because it still feels like a dream.

All I can say is ARGH!

2009-10-23T04:30:00.004+08:00

All I can say is ARGH!!!

ARGH!!! ARGH again!!! ARGH some more!!! ARGH furthermore!!!

I CAN SO TOTALLY SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT NOW!!!

*Runs to the kitchen and back in front of the screen again*

*Slaps Gab's face*

*Grab and pull Gab's hair*

If not for the fact that it is already 4am plus I would certainly scream as loud as I can.

I need to be up in a few hours time and here I'm still typing this post.

Just got home and read something that caused me to be crazy like this.

I can't breathe properly or sit still.

I was thinking of doing something before the reading but I totally forgot what was it.

I can see the positive side of things.

I can see the negative side of things.

But I don't know what my reply should be.

Cause I'm too high now to think straight.

Think I need some time to let the high-ness go away before I can think properly on what to do next.

And I think the high-ness is going to make me talk rubbish for the next few days.

Chicken Macnuggets.

My eyes are tired but my mind is hyperactive now.

How? Cannot go to sleep le la. Damn it.

Should I try banging my head against the wall so that I can get some sleep?

I wish I had a trampoline to jump on now.

Life is so unpredictable

2009-10-19T23:32:00.004+08:00

Life is so unpredictable

Just heard from my Mama that her friend's son died of cancer.

Though I don't really know her friend well, but still the news is saddening.

Think her son is only like in his early 20s?

Everyday there is someone dying.

But on the lighter note, everyday babies are born.

Was late for work today cause I was being myself, taking my own sweet time.

Today is the most relaxing day so far.

Cause I got to go off at 4pm plus.

Went back school for Japanese lessons.

Got a shock when I saw Yoko Sensei's bulging tummy.

She is pregnant.

She said that if we do not give her too much stress, she will try her best not to deliver the baby in the class. Haha.

And for don't know how many donkey years, I finally went for bible reading today.

Glad I did so cause I felt so much better after going.

Learnt to see things in a different perspective.

"As it is written: There is no one righteous, not even one"

Romans 3:1

Other than your updates, 2 days had passed without hearing much from you.

But I can't explain why the sound of your voice still rings loud in my ears every time I think about you.

Happy 1 year old

2009-10-18T23:44:00.008+08:00

Happy 1 year old

I was supposed to wake up early to do lots of stuffs today.

In the end I woke up at 12pm.

Oh well, ain't I always making empty promises to myself?

Sorry EdmundHow for being late today.

Thank You EdmundHow for spending today with me.

I feel revitalized again.

Shopping never fails to charge up my spirit's batteries.

It's been 1 year since I started this blog.

Looking back at those past entries, I wonder if I had grown any better.

Maybe a little. Maybe not.

But there is definitely a change. Somehow.

Memories flashes back.

Lessons learnt reviewed again.

Thanks a lot my dear blog.

Tomorrow is the start of the new school semester.

I'm regretting a little for not stopping my Japanese lessons.

And for signing up the JLPT exams.

I'm afraid I won't have time to do well for them.

Work is already so hectic. Time is so little.

Oh man. Serves me right for bringing this stress upon myself.

What done is done, just hope that everything turns out fine.

Geez...I can feel the Monday blues hitting me.

Here I am still leading my messed up life.

I'm so mean

2009-10-15T10:52:00.003+08:00

I'm so mean

I dreamt that I burped.

And it scared the shit out of my brother.

Caused I sounded like some crane.

I laughed so hard in the dream when I saw my brother's shocked face.

But I can't remembered it when I woke up.

Wasted.

Anyway, NigelTan just got his 4 wisdom tooth(s) extracted.

The operation caused his face to look swollen.

And it makes my day to see 'it' everyday.

Caused it is so hilarious.

HAHA. I'm evil.

There someone whom I'm not sure whether to deem as a traitor or not.

After all, in the real world, it is everyone is for one's own gain.

So it is not totally wrong for Alpha to do what Alpha did.

Just that the thought that Alpha is so fake keeps popping in my brain.

And every time I have to reason with myself to stop my dislike from showing

There is just too many things that I can't stand observing.

Well, what I don't do does not mean that others don't.

Guess I just have to live with it cause there is definitely more to come.

Life sucks. Just how many times do I have to admit that?

Stop the Pretence

2009-10-13T23:42:00.003+08:00

Stop the Pretence

I hate the system.

I hate breathing in all that secondhand smoke.

I hate when asked, our answers are used as weapons against us.

So just get lost you face-changers.

Thanks for showing me all your different kinds of masks.

Still wavering

2009-10-12T23:58:00.002+08:00

Still wavering

Someone just updated.

Nothing much about it.

But my heart skipped a beat when I saw it.

I still want to hear from him.

I still want to know what's going on around him.

Today was a happy day.

Because of what is written on that message.

Though it meant another thing.

But I still see it in another way.

Damn.

Wasn't I supposed to give up already?

Someone please just knock my senses back in.

I survived the week

2009-10-10T23:12:00.006+08:00

I survived the week.

Another week is finally gone.

I'm not sure if that is a bad thing or a good thing.

Nevertheless this week was not really bad anyway.

Joke of the week #1:

Michael bang his head against a glass panel.

Lucky me got the 2nd best seat to see this whole ordeal cause I was just behind him.

Thank God I had shorter legs and walked slower than him or not it could have been me banging the glass panel instead.

Seriously hilarious.

Our colleagues who were there and saw the incident also laugh like hell.

I think I laughed for at least half the day.

Joke of the week #2:

NigelZhuo slipped and fall at CityHall Chamber.

I did not get to see it. Sad.

But the funny part was, everyone was saying it was his retribution for throwing away a KFC drumstick.

Cause we bought KFC for dinner that day and NigelZ being the I-must-always-eat-healthy-food guy just threw the whole drumstick.

What the crap right?

First time I heard of people throwing away uneaten KFC drumstick.

In the world of chicken drumstick, KFC's is like the brand Guess.

It is not a very very high end brand like LV.

But it is still definitely a branded.

So serve him right for throwing it away. Haha.

Yunwei also got this big bruise on her knee for banging it against a glass table top.

Silly her.

So now it is only me left that had not had any injuries or bloopers yet.

The other 3 of them are still waiting for mine to happen.

Unfortunately, lady luck had still been smiling on me. Bleh =P

And I bought the most Wrigley's Extra Professional forest berries flavoured sweets ever before in my life.

Think there are like 11 of them.

Bought them cause they were on offer.

Buy 10 get 1 free. Haha.

(I know there are people calling me auntie already. Whatever.)

I could literally smell the sweets from their unopened casing.

Also met ZhaoXiu, Edmund and Candice for dinner on Friday.

Forgot to take picture with Candice before she left.

But I had a good chit chat session with all of them.

I finally felt like I'm not that outcasted from my friends' lives.

I've got to admit that somehow the 3 of us look quite alike in a way.

Playing with the camera's effects again.

Forever 1 will be black and 1 will be white.

I'll take it as a compliment if you say I looked like a pig cause I was obviously imitating one.

Slowly, painfully, I'm trying to get myself back.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEAN TAN YONG MING

2009-10-03T23:50:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEAN TAN YONG MING

Gab: Happy 22nd birthday! Enjoy your day =>

Sean: Haha. Fuck is 23rd man.

I forgot I'm no longer 18 this year. Lol.

Yeah I'm the best sister in the world. Haha.

I know you do read my blog, so here is another birthday wish to make up for having no presents and the mistake that I had made.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There so many people giving lectures/advices and I'm sick of it.

F off people.

You bloody people were the ones who asked those stupid questions.

So if we gave a answer you did not like, it's our problem?!

Then bloody hell stop asking those same stupid questions la.

You tell us go right and we did so and now you are telling us we should not have done so?

I'm so pissed by your systems.

It's so totally crap.

I'm not a boot licker nor a hard worker.

I just like to do what I think I should do.

If it does not pleases you guys, then I'm sorry.

Cause no way I'm gonna comply all the time.

It is hard for everyday to be a happy day.

Tired soul

2009-10-01T23:40:00.004+08:00

Tired soul

I'm giving up.

I remembered why I held on for so long.

I was hoping for a miracle.

But it did not happen.

I'm giving up.

I lacked the courage to confess.

Your skull is so thick.

My hints could not get through.

I'm giving up.

My emotions changed with your every image,

That goes through my brain.

Enough of the roller-coaster rides.

I'm giving up.

This heart of mine is panting hard,

From the solo marathon.

I had ran too far off.

I'm giving up.

Songs you sung to me,

Still resonates within me.

Please let those music notes fade away.

I'm giving up.

I should not have fired the start gun.

Water droplets dripping down my face now.

It is so pathetic.

I'm giving up.

My heart is reluctant.

This hurts so bad.

Only cure is to wait for the numbness to follow.

I'm sorry for not being able to hang on alone.

Just so you know

2009-09-30T11:55:00.006+08:00

Just so you know

Consoling myself with the fact that you don't miss me as much as I miss you.

Was there any sunlight?

2009-09-29T22:35:00.003+08:00

Was there any sunlight today?

Went home at 11pm plus last night when the sky was already dark.

Woke up this morning and went to work when the sky was still dark.

No glimpse of any sunlight at all.

Unless you consider the lights from the tungsten lamps as sunlight.

Today was quite an embarrassing day.

First, me and Weix was supposed to put this truss trolley back to the ballroom.

So we were waiting for the lift to come down.

But the bloody lift was super retarded and didn't come to the floor level we were at.

So both of us decided to carry the trolley up the stairs from B1 to level 4.

We climbed up 1 level and then we got stuck.

There was no way up anymore.

Stupid building's layout.

In the end had to push the trolley out of raffles city and go the long way back to SwissHotel.

Thank God Nigel came to our rescue.

The 3 of us looked so stupid going around a shopping mall with a ugly-looking black trolley.

Malu malu malu.

After that when all 4 of us were allowed to leave, we walked past the buffet area to go home.

Then, temptation got the better of us.

We couldn't stand walking away from the delicious food.

Act on our own accord to eat the food even though we were unsure if we were allowed to do so.

And the retribution was being spotted by our person-in-charge.

Got lectured by him for awhile but in the end thank God the client actually told him not long ago that we were allowed to eat the food, since there are a lot of leftovers and most of the participants/audiences had left.

Still it felt super malu.

As if we were caught doing something shameful.

And there was guilt in our hearts too.

Malu malu malu.

I think ever since I entered AVT, the amount of embarrassing stuffs I'd been doing is increasing at a great rate.

But today was still kind of fun.

Spent most part of it at the FOH console area helping the audio man.

He and the lighting guy, damn hilarious.

The mic up guy was also very humorous.

But the SMs side, damn irritating.

I was on the intercom and the SMs side did not bother to turn off their talk button when they are having their own private conversations, so I had to hear every single crap they were talking about.

About 80% of the stuffs was non-related to work.

I could feel the pressure in my ears every time that I put the intercom's headset on.

And every time that I could not stand it any longer and put the headsets down, they will then start talking about the important stuffs that I need to convey to the sound man.

So in conclusion, I could not put the headsets down.

I had to put it on throughout the whole session and listen to their crap and wait for the important messages from them.

One of them was a guy and I had never seen how bitchy can a guy be until today.

I think he can surely overtake me in that field.

Alright, going to go catch my rest.

Guess I won't be seeing any sunlight tomorrow either.

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?

- Daniel Bedingfield -

Finally some rest

2009-09-27T22:39:00.027+08:00

Finally some rest

Finally my off day after working everyday for the whole week.

Met EdmundHow for dinner today.

It is so frigging long since I last saw him.

You know when you had been friends for so long till you have a special chemistry.

For the both of us, we know it is our lateness.

So we knew we both were gonna be late, but in the end we will usually reached round the same time even though we both were late.

Not that this is something good, but I really like this kind of feeling.

As if we can communicate with our minds. Lol.

After dinner, we went to a park and sat down to lepak.

Not long after, we started cam-whoring.

I just realised my camera can do a lot of awesome stuffs.

We cam-whored to try out all the different functions.

My battery went dead after the session.

First shot. Forgot to on the stupid flash.

Lol. Edmund look like my younger brother even though he is only 4 days younger than me.

Say hi to my double chin.

This guy is a cam-pimp.

Now you see me.

Now you don't.

This looks like fireworks. =>

So many attempts just to try create a heart shape. The best that I did was an upside down one.

So I'm not the fairest after all. Lol.

Edmund looks like a horse here. Haha.

Only the blue remains. Rest are all in black and white.

Check out my new lipstick colour.

Copycat Edmund bought the same lipstick colour as mine.

I not trying to act emo ok. I was just busy sms-ing.

This could so totally be my trademark posing face.

Eh boy trying to look dumb huh.

I'm the only retarded looking one here. (T.T)

My favourite face. =>

Can you spot us among these 'fireworks'.

My real-life human version.

My cartoon version.

Edmund got badly beaten up by some strangers.

One of my stone-ing moments.

Ooooh...Greyish-green lipstick.

I found another guy with black teeth.

This is super bread man.

This is white goldfish.

Peek-a-boo.

The hell guards forgot to take this female ghost away.

No money no money.

This is me before face surgery.

This is me after a failed face surgery.

I've got alien blood within

I saw a ghost who likes wearing caps.

Judge for yourself which of the above 3 is the best shot.

Edmund before face operation.

Edmund after face operation.

Some random guy trying to act like Michael Jackson.

Oh, so you do think about me.

Recovered

2009-09-26T05:50:00.003+08:00

Recovered

My voice is finally back.

SO HAPPY.

I guess thanks to the 12 hours sleep I had on Thursday.

Just logged in to facebook and realised that my account's info is total crap.

My favourite quotation: Gab...shut up la

About me: Im a joke

And since when do I have two email account?

Furthermore the other email account written there seems familiar.

My political views: Obama is a better bush

WTC. Since when did I bother about politics?

My employer: Singapore dollars

Did I wrote that myself?

I'm thinking...someone edited my info and I did not even realise it.(T.T)

Someone who knew my password.

And I think I know who it could be.

So the person who did it, own up huh~

You funny funny creature with no hands, 4 eyes and eight legs one.

Ok gotta get ready for work.

Ciao.

You keep walking in and out of my heart as if it was a hotel.

11 more days to go...

2009-09-23T21:58:00.004+08:00

11 more days to go...

My voice starting to sound from a sea lion to a frog now.

Which means to say I'm on the road to recovery.

But it still hurts when I swallow anything down my throat.

Recently have been hearing a lot of vulgarities.

Mostly cause of the uncles in my workplace who uses them all the time.

Even my Mama and brothers were using it last night

They were sprouting all the cb and the lj words around (in a joking manner of course).

Hopefully I won't get addicted to using them too. Lol.

So today, you could totally call me the 'label girl' cause for the whole day at work, I was literally just labeling and labeling and labeling some more.

Label till my shoulder muscles also ache man.

We did not go anywhere for today.

We were at the office the whole day doing housekeeping.

Damn boring.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

I'm here without you baby, and I'm so missing you.

11 more days and my sufferings will lessen for a little while.

Pain in the throat

2009-09-21T23:53:00.002+08:00

Pain in the throat

Frigging got a sore throat. Damn irritated.

Make me unable to sing in the bathroom for the pass 2 days already.

I can''t decide if I sound more like a chicken or a duck.

And I'm frigging angry with my Mama now.

Borrow her stuffs then she never return and even lost it.

And she can't even be bothered to find it back.

As a matter of fact I didn't even lent her, she took it on her own accord.

Chicken Mcnuggets!!!

Argh!!!

Can't really shout at her cause my sore throat cannot make me go to my highest volume.

Cheese Bun.

And she is bloody changing the topic to how bad my temper is and it serves me right that I'm having a sore throat since I don't even want to take medication.

Firstly, my temper has all along been bad.

But, I don't think I get angry all the time for no good reasons.

Secondly, my sore throat is getting worse cause she still made me raise my voice at her.

Argh...Can't be bothered to explain myself anymore. Geez.

Anyway, think I won't be working in IKEA for the whole of October.

Guess it is kind of good. At least can rest a bit more.

For the pass 2 days, I had been working morning shift.

From the moment I reach office, my head automatically bang into the table and I literally faint there, only waking up every 5-10minutes till my colleague arrived an hour later.

Serves me right for agreeing to work for that 2 days.

Recently addicted to Taylor Swift's "Invisible".

Tomorrow is the start of the second week of attachment.

God bless me. Bless me a lot please.

The question is how long I can hold on.

My aunt's cooking is good

2009-09-19T22:49:00.006+08:00

My aunt's cooking is GOOD

Went to my grandma's house to have have lunch with Sugar today.

After that send Kuku and Joy, the house's dog, for grooming.

Then went to Penisular Plaza Shopping Center and bought 2 black tees for attachment.

Sugar also bought a pair of shoes for me to wear during attachment.

Felt a little guilty for spending so much of his money.

Once done with shopping, went to pick Kuku and Joy up.

Had chicken rice nearby.

Then went back to my grandma's place to have a taste of Kuku's black pepper chicken.

While waiting for her to cook, took a short nap in the living room's sofa.

Then met Wanyee to pass her her thumb drive.

Black pepper chicken was still not ready when I went back.

So played with the 3 puny hamsters Kuku rear.

Forced the 3 of them have a powder bath. Haha.

Had a nice chat with Kuku while doing so.

I think I should really go brush up my Hokkien so I can communicate better with Grandma.

Finally the black pepper chicken was done.

(Oh man, I'm suddenly reminded of Hafiz. Lol.)

It was super delicious.

Had a heart to heart talk with my cousin, Dylan.

Though he is just Sec 3 this year, but I'm glad he thinks much more maturely than his age group.

We both agreed that XiaoXue is an irritant. Lol.

After that Sugar sent me home and once I step into my room, I saw the Ngee Ann letter on my desk.

Must I be reminded so many times about my results?

So irritating. Then went to do a little housework before using MSN.

Poor mama Syazwan got hurt during attachment.

I think shim is a accident magnet.

Pray hard I don't have the accident magnet genes from shim.

Ok, I think that basically sum up my mediocre day.

Oh, by the way, miraculously, my handphone which I dropped into the toilet bowl 2 days back is working perfectly fine now.

An amazing phone being used by an amazing owner.

Cool shit. Whoot. Gab rocks.

Working towards the time-to-shine.

1st Week of Attachment

2009-09-19T04:52:00.003+08:00

1st Week of Attachment

Finally I get to rest man.

5 days straight of energy-draining work, damn tiring man.

Anyway I just reached home not long ago.

Had to do a set-up at Plaza Singapura Shopping Center and a tear-down at Clark Quay.

But I had lots of fun today.

So far, I really like my company's people.

They are super hilarious.

I think they can make me laugh non-stop for the whole day.

Somehow I feel very lucky I chose this company.

Mmm...Let me see how the 1st week of attachment had been.

Out of 5 days, I reached home at 4am for 2 days, 12am+ for 1 day.

The other 2 days, I reached home around 8pm+.

Everyday we had to use lots of energy due to all the loading and unloading.

And there isn't a day where my fingernails are not filled with dirt.

I think I got quite depressed on Tuesday and Wednesday cause I was super tired.

Furthermore it was my 1st time I did a show of that big scale.

On top of that, I even dropped my phone into the toilet bowl.

That made me felt even sadder and agitated.

Then I was late for work on Thursday even though we only had to report work at 1pm.

Since my handphone was spoilt, I didn't had any alarm to wake me up and hence woke up late.

I woke up at 1pm. Damn late.

So I prepared quickly and took a cab down.

The whole journey cost me $17.20.

I could feel my heart aching when I passed the money to the cab driver.

In the end, it seems that nobody gave a heck for my lateness. (T.T)

Should not have taken cab. Oh well.

Went to do a teardown at Suntec today before heading for Plaza Singapura.

Met Steph and Lili over there.

They seemed very slack.

Can even watch shows. Wtc. I'm so jealous. Lol.

I think I might be seeing them quite a bit since a lot of our clients always uses Suntec as the venue.

And the coolest thing of all.

I GOT A NEW COMPACT CAMERA !!!

Many thanks to Sugar for the Canon Ixus 120 IS.

I never thought that he will go buy it specially for me.

I remember telling him I might need it for attachment so that I can have pictures for my report.

So I asked if he had any idea how I can get one without having to spend money on it.

He replied saying no so I had no chance but to rely on my 5 megapix phone camera.

But then I bloody hell dropped it into the toilet bowl so it was a gone case also.

So I'm really glad he bought one for me.

I'm really touched by his thoughtfulness.

Anyway I will be seeing him later.

Might be going out with him to get a new phone.

Alright, really damn tired. Ciao.

So near yet so far...

1st Day of Attachment

2009-09-14T23:07:00.003+08:00

1st Day of Attachment

Whoot...1 day down and don't know how many more days to go.

Seriously, though it is just the first day of attachment, I felt as if I had been there for a month already.

Well, just hope that the rest of the attachment will be smooth-flowing as today.

So this tiring day start off with me waking up at 6.45a.m.

Took my own sweet time to prepare and finally left the house at 8.30a.m.

Met NigelZhuo and Weix at Bishan Interchange and took bus 58.

NigelZ said we should alight after 18 bustops and I really went and count.

In the end it was more than 18 stops.

Waste my counting effort. (T.T)

Got a little lost when we were there but still managed to find the place in the end.

Waited for Michael to arrive before stepping into the place.

Met our liason officer.

Then we split into 2 'teams'.

Me and Michael went to Suntec to help out while Weix and NigelZ stayed on to learn.

Me and Michael were kind of separated at Suntec.

So the whole of the day I was following the person-in-charged called Raymond.

And I ate lunch together with a bunch of guys who are gonna be my colleagues for the nxt 5 months and who are still strangers 2 me.

It felt so weird. Super weird.

But guess what was the funny thing?

I met Steph and ShenLi over there.

Cool or what? Lol.

Overall, I think my company is quite alright.

Better than what I expected actually.

Most of the people are very friendly too.

But that is my observation for today.

Not sure about that in the long run.

Ok, I'm really tired and tomorrow is a long day so I shall end here.

Nights.

Its hard not to be judgmental.

Movie Marathon

2009-09-13T23:24:00.002+08:00

Movie Marathon

Met up with Candice and ZhaoXiu today at Causeway Point Shopping Center.

We bought KFC and went to Candice's house to watch Pulse 2.

The story is a little confusing for the 1st half but overall it is quite alright.

The movie is actually kind of interesting and exciting.

It has many parts which will make you go: 'Oh no, don't do that!'

Me and Candice were like taking the cushions to cover our eyes at those 'scary' parts.

ZhaoXiu was the only calm one.

After Pulse2 we went on to watch Taken.

And then Hannah Montana.

3 movies in one shot.

Even my butt was protesting after that.

Met Sugar after that and he drove me to North Point Shopping Center to get the shoes that I liked.

But in the end, I did not buy it cause Sugar said the shoes were ugly.

Anyway Sugar's friend, XiaoXue was also with us.

I really dislike her when she keeps clinging on to my arm when we shop and drag me here and there.

Lucky she don't understand English so I could tell Sugar how much I dislike it in front of her.

(I'm that evil)

But at least in exchange, I got extra info of Sugar from her during dinner when Sugar when out to smoke.

She told me about the woman in Malaysia and about some of the answers Sugar gave her when she asked certain questions.

Though those stuffs will not affect me in any way, but I still got bothered by them.

Sometimes I feel that adults are such morons.

Whatever it is, since Sugar never told me about them before, so I will presume that he does not want me to know.

I guess I won't be bothered to ask him about it for the time being.

I feel that if he wants to tell me about them, he will do so without me asking.

I talked about it with NigelTan when I got home.

Felt a little better having everything blurt out.

But the crap feeling still remains somehow.

The thought of attachment starting tomorrow worsen the feeling.

Damn, humans just have too many problems.

p.s: Thanks mama Syazwan for helping me to play farmville. Will miss you a lot when attachment starts.

I don't want to grow up and be a moron like so many adults are today.

Final Destination

2009-09-13T03:37:00.005+08:00

Final Destination

Its frigging 3am plus in the morning and I'm not asleep yet.

I'm feeling sleepy actually but I don't want to sleep.

This is the last night that I can sleep late for a long while.

The next time might probably be after attachment?

I've got a lot going in my mind right now but once again, they aren't of any importance.

Just stuffs which uses brain juice for the sake of using it.

But still, I can't stop it from flowing through my brain.

*Gab stoning*

有些话想对你说可是却说不出口。

只好用写的来表达。

写了一整段的话，一共四行。

あなたがすきです。

とてもすきです。

あたしはあなたのおじょうさんになりたくないです。

あたしはあなたのかのじょになりたいです。

最后还是把它们给删除了。

删除的当而，同时发现我还是没勇气把心里的话说给你听。

我还是那个懦弱的我。

如果你已读到这，你会知道你就是男主角吗？

There are some things I wish to tell you but could never do so

Writing was the only way to express them

I wrote a whole paragraph, four sentences in total

あなたがすきです。

とてもすきです。

あたしはあなたのおじょうさんになりたくないです。

あたしはあなたのかのじょになりたいです。

I deleted them in the end

In the process of doing so, I realised I still do not have the courage to tell you how I feel

I'm still the same old coward me.

If you had read till here, do you even know that you are the main lead?

Sometimes some things might be better when left unsaid.

Mixture

2009-09-12T01:52:00.002+08:00

Mixture

Right now, I'm not sure if I'm feeling happy or sad. I think it is a mix of both.

I'm happy because I got to see my AVT friends yesterday.

We went together for the Suntec Comex IT Show.

I'm sad cause that will be the last time we be seeing each other before the start of attachment.

I know that it is not the end of the world, but once attachment commences, I be seeing so much lesser of the other AVT friends.

But I'm thankful at least I be working with YunWei so it is not so bad.

At least got 1 bitch working along side me.

I just have this negative feeling that things won't be the same anymore.

It is kind of like the same feeling I had when O'levels were over.

It is like you are entering a new phase of life and all that you thought will remain will change.

So people you thought you will be good friends with forever might not be so.

People you thought were kind to you might not treat you the same way again.

People you thought will keep in touch with you will not do so.

People you though you will keep in touch with may not be so anymore.

People change with times and that is an undeniable fact.

I remember after my O'levels, I thought that I will be in close contact with a lot of my secondary school mates, but turned out it was not so.

The 'family' that was created during those school days was just a game I guess.

In the end, I only keep in contact with 4 or 5 of them.

People just become busier with each passing day of their lives.

Sometimes it saddens me to think of the past when we were so close but when I look back at the present, the closeness we used to share does not exist anymore.

So, I'm really afraid history will repeat itself.

Well, if things do change drastically, I will still be glad that at least I got to experience all these fun and meet all these crazy fellows.

Goodbye to all that I thought would never end...

A long walk to bond

2009-09-07T22:32:00.006+08:00

A long walk to bond.

Went for a marathon with AVT yesterday though I didn't really run at all. We were basically walking most of the time and taking pictures.

Aww...my parents are so sweet.

This guy got all his common sense messed up.

Guess we were kind of road hogging most of the time too?

Check out papa Basyir's face. Damn retarded.

Had Sakae tea-time buffet with the higher ranked bitches today, namely Steph, Mengx and Weix.

I think I ate almost 1 week worth of rice?

We aunties even hide those rice we couldn't finish into any possible places we could think of.

Some were hidden under the plates, some even in the green tea sachet wrapper.

And then Steph provided the best hiding place, a PLASTIC BAG.

So we threw all those food we could not finish into the plastic bag when the staffs were not looking.

I know we are evil and damn cheaters but I don't care.

The green tea sachet wrappers we hid the rice in. I actually wanted to throw 2 of them which was already filled with rice but then Mengx and Steph went like:'NO!!! Can still stuff more rice inside one'.

So many plates we cleared sia.

The extra white finger belongs to Mengx.

Crap!!! I thought the ghost festival was over already? Did they purposely left one behind and closed the gates?

After lunch we chit-chat for quite awhile before we could finally tahan the weight of our stomachs and get up to walk.

We walked round the whole of North Point and went into Kiddy Palace to make a fool of ourselves.

She was trying to ask:' Who is cutest? Winne, Piglet or me?' The obvious answer is: 'Definitely not you.'

I found my long lost brother.

Omg. Mengx your face big like that elephant seh.

Weix having 2nd round of constipation.

You have to admit they kind of resembles each other.

3 aliens roaming at the MRT station.

I saw this advert with a saying from Confucius that says:

' It does not matter how slow you go. What matters is you don't stop. '

I was like so enlighten by that sentence.

I'm happy to play a part in your life, even if the part seems little.

District 9

2009-09-05T01:09:00.012+08:00

District 9

Went to Cineleisure to watch the movie District 9 today.

I lied to papa Basyir and mama Syazwan and Izwan that I won't be coming so I really enjoyed their surprised faces when they saw me.

Guess this was retribution for them for always lying to me. Lol.

District 9 was by far the most suffering movie I had ever watched.

Mainly because the movie had very little still images and it made my head giddy and my stomach to feel like throwing up.

I think I closed my eyes for one quarter of the show cause I was afraid I would puke any moment.

And there were also some very gruesome parts.

After the movie, went to a Halal restaurant in Lucky Plaza Shopping Center to book place.

Then we head to Borders to while away the time.

Oh, we also went to walk a little at ION.

Brought 3 sunglasses that day to camwhore with. 3 sunglasses hanging on my polaroid necklace.

Yunwei having constipation.

Joel's innocent shocked face when the camera suddenly flashed in front of him.

Borders seemed like a boring place for the both of us that day so we had no choice but to resort to this.

Do Re Mi.

Son. Mistress. Me

After stoning at Borders, finally it was time for dinner.

While waiting for food.

I thought I heard my phone cracking while taking this shot.

3 funny tico peks.

Why did I waste my phone memory to take this?

He looks like a girl.

Is he a girl?

He is definitely a female.

Hi, my name is Pedro. Lol.

Dinner was really nice.

The chilli sambal, damn shiok.

And the peanut pasted salad. Delicious. =>

After dinner went to Mcafe to lepak and take pictures.

Did mama had a fight with papa?

3 uncles sitting together.

My mistress and her daughter.

I don't listen to their songs even though I have their shirt.

A mother and her son.

I almost wanted to say MIB(Men in black). It should be WIBS(women in black shades).

I'm so teaching my son how to camwhore.

We walked quite a lot that day but I enjoyed myself.

Think we walked almost till Newton?

Alright I'm tired. Ciao.

It makes my day to know that I somehow passed through your mind.

Another happy day

2009-09-03T23:56:00.020+08:00

Another happy day

Many stuffs happened but I didn't really have time to update all of them.

First off is the JB trip I had with AVT mates on Tuesday and Wednesday.

I had a really great time over there.

If you ask me which is the best part, I would say the karaoke session.

So many people squeezing in 1 small pathetic room with ear blasting music and 1 overpowering cannot-make-it vocal along with other sing-a-long vocals, the feeling cannot be described with just the word fabulous.

The food was really great too.

I could almost feel my stomach's skin stretching to a breaking point at the end of the day.

Anyway, I stayed over at Steph's house together with Mengting.

The owner with her bitch. It is really difficult to make Nini look at the camera.

Mengx seriously don't know how to carry a puppy.

Can you believe that a human so much bigger than that pup is afraid of it somehow?

Seriously Mengx, your dog, Ah Boy, is like 100 times even more scarier than Nini. Just don't get why you were frightened by Nini at times.

What the crap, Nini's face looks so much frigging smaller than mine.

OMG, finally Nini is smiling into the camera.

Hehe. This shot could have been perfect if I did not have the flash on.

A very nice shot taken while sitting in Steph's car on the way for breakfast.

Two 花痴(retards in love) waiting for bakuteh to come.

The long awaited bakuteh is finally here!!

The love retards starting to dig in to Bakuteh. I must say it tasted really nice.

So today, I went back to school to lepak, with the AVT people again.

Actually don't really felt like going but the thought of being able to get all the pictures I wanted to see being transferred to my hard disk gave me the motivation.

Furthermore I made 2 deals for going.

1 is that mama Syazwan will sleep earlier, the other is free lollipop from AndrewPoh.

Am I smart or what?

Yeah, that is my mama who just got back from the market. Isn't she pretty?

Mama is trying to be a role model and educate me that a wife should love her husband.

After that went to CausewayPoint Shopping Center to meet JiaMin for dinner.

So frigging long since I last met up with her.

How long was it? Like 2months plus already?

Btw, also took from her all the photos we took the last time we met.

I still had that Lady Gaga look alike fringe then.

We camwhore at Macdonald's the other time. And this time, it is no difference, just that we had an inclusion of the girls' toilet. Lol.

Trying to disturb JiaMin while she does her touch up.

Woah..that big eye, scary neh? lol.

JiaMin is my new BF.

I seriously wished that I could endorse for Extra professional mints sweet. Then I can have them free every time I want it. But I only love their mixed berries flavor.

Yes yes yes. My eye bags + eye circles are very jialat(bad).

Alright. That's all folks. Damn tired now. Ciao.

My smiles and laughters are all I can offer to make you notice me.

The last strive

2009-08-27T00:55:00.002+08:00

The last strive

I will be having my last paper later on.

Right now, I feel more clear headed.

Though the stress is still there, but at least I'm not having that depressing feeling anymore.

Many thanks to Andrew Poh for teaching me VC.

Suddenly realised that though mugging is a pain in the ass, but there is also a fun side to it.

Studying together with friends is fun.

When everyone is stressed out, we do stupid and crazy things.

And it is these stuffs which makes me feel studying is worth it.

It makes me think, if I were given a choice of studying and you get to be together with your friends, or not studying but you will not get to be together with your friends, I would much rather take the first.

No wonder they say no pain no gain.

I don't know how long we can all stay the same way we are now.

And I don't know if the future changes will be good or bad.

Nevertheless, what has to come will come, so I shall not think too much about them either.

Since I've been staying at the loft for past few days, I think I'm neglecting my Mama a lot.

I know I speak to my Mama in a rude manner but I guess this is the way I communicate with her?

Whatever.

I can't possibly change overnight so I guess I will need some time to change.

But its ok.

As long as I know I love my Mama.

It is better than those bastards who pretends to be good on the surface but when their parents have difficulties, they will push all the responsibilities of taking care of them.

Sometimes I really wish I have the powers of Dumbledore, where he was able to get memories out of his head and store them in bottles.

This way, my mind won't feel so jammed and packed.

Alright, gotta go back and mug.

Wish me and give me lots of luck. =>

がんばってねガブリエルさん。

I feel like crap

2009-08-25T01:50:00.003+08:00

I feel like crap

Seriously.

I'm so blanking out when I should not.

My attention span can't even last for 15 minutes.

I'm so gonna do badly for the exams.

I feel very pressurized.

But despite that, the more I feel like blanking out.

There is like this thing in my mind speaking to me whenever I'm studying:

'Hey Gab, what the hell are you studying for?'

'To get good grades?'

'For what?'

'Erm...Get into university?'

'Is that really the place you want to go?'

'I've no freaking idea. I don't know man.'

Seems like everyone is absorbing but I'm not.

There is a big blockage in my brain.

There is something wrong with me that I can't explain.

It is as if I have a split personality and the second me is trying to take over the first me.

I really feel like shit.

Time is running out and I can feel it.

But my body just ain't responding in accordance to it.

I can't seem to relax.

I feel like I'm gonna burst into pieces.

I need something.

Something for me to work towards to.

Something to keep me back to my normal self.

Something to make me stop feeling like crap.

A new resolution.

A new goal.

A new person.

A new revelation.

A new advice.

A new environment.

Anything.

Anything that can keep me in control.

Anything that can save me from this crap feeling.

Some things just aren't meant to be so why am I forcing for the not-meant-to-be?

I just feel that I'm either trying too hard or missing out something in life.